I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Randomize
