Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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