We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
