My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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