Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
