Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you had me at cake vodka
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
