Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
