How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
