Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
