Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
where are my eyebrows?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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