I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
