I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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