Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
