I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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