He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
