Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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