let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
