That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
