she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
