You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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