can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
