just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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