i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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