I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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