bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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