i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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