I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
