I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We are two peas in an std pod
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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