Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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