I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
