okay pat passed out under dana's car
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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