hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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