you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
