the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
