Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
