i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
