google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
