True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Panties = found
Randomize
