It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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