Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
