We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
