whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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