Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
