I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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