Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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