Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
