He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize