Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Only a mothe r could love this liver
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
