If i come over, it means nothing
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
