I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
