I showed him my bush... on skype.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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