If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
