does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
