HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
high people should be assigned attendants
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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