Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
