You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
