Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
