I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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