to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
