bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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