if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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