she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
