i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
