I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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